QotD: Happy Earth Day

What do you do EVERY day to take care of the earth's environment? What could you do more of?

    Nothing. I don't do a goddamn thing. Hello America, it's time for a kick in the head. I don't recycle. I don't really conserve energy that well, unless it's going to damage the lifespan of a battery. If I ever wind up getting a car, I'm going to get good mileage only because I don't like giving my money away in huge lumps at a time. I smoke, so, I guess I'm adding more greenhouse gases than your average human being. I'm only interested in solar and wind power because it seems like a cheap way to live. Oh yeah, and the only time I throw my cigarette butts in the garbage is when someone is looking. A lot of them so far have wound up in storm drains- but lets be honest, if whatever sewage system they've got working can't filter out a cigarette butt, you've got bigger problems on your hand.
    First of all, let's start off by saying I don't really care about the earth. I'm not going to go out of my way to mistreat it, but I won't do the opposite either. I won't live to see the more painful effects. Doesn't matter to me. Hell- for all I know, this is the natural order of things. Fluke creations from different planets develop the ability to make tools and start slowly killing planets, then either move or die.
    Secondly, you don't really care either. Yeah, you get your hybrid cars so that you can say you've gone green, but it's really to save at the pump. Some of you have those long lifespan/low power/whatever the fuck coiled flourescent lights, not realizing that the cancerous shit in there is not only worse than tungsten, but it's also worse than the crap in a whole carton of cigarettes, and it takes a decade to disappear. LED Lights are a more expensive alternative, and they're a lot less harmful. But no one seems to want any of those, curious. Ethanol causes a rise in food prices, costs more at the pump, and is only a little less painful on the environment than regular gas. Solar power. Don't even get me started on solar power. I, and my father before me, grew up hearing about the greatness of solar and wind power. It's everywhere, it's going to be really cheap in the next decade or two, everyone and their mother will have a solar powered car. Solar power is the new helicopter for every family. We grow up expecting it and that shit ain't gonna come.
    Here's why: America, are you listening? You love your economy, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health. You love living the way you live, for the most part, and you would live nowhere else. You might say you'd prefer another country, sure- but you certainly won't get off your ass and go there. Having to switch to alternative means of power would completely fuck that.
    So I'm going to join this silent mass mentality. I'm going to breathe smoke, I'm going to drink mercury water, and I'm going to dig little plots all over Central Park and fill them with styrofoam. Hell. If I didn't, who would give the Ready, Willing, and Able guys a job, eh? Just cut this "Look at me, I'm going green" crap out, okay? It's like, soooo last Tuesday.